The biggest thing in our lives has been S. "Sampson" Scott Haynie. His hair has been growing and growing! It was out of control and somehow we have been too busy to cut it.. Even with all of our nothing that we do all day. So I finally did it today! What a relief to have regular Scott back.
Here is picture proof of the day we admitted there was a problem.
So. Just for fun, here is a typical weekly outline at the Salem Haynie House.
Monday: Scott and I have work at 6 and 6:45, respectively. I usually lounge around until he is almost out the door before getting up. Luxury. He gets home at 2; I get home at 3:30 (unless I work late--then I don't get home until 9). Housework, homework, exercise?, couch-sitting, dinner, book-reading, moving-watching, couch-sitting, bed.
Tuesday: Repeat
Wednesday: Scott has a day off! He does housework and car fix-it things, and sometimes makes me food! I get home at 3:30 and do chores until it is time to go to Mutual (Church youth group that I am in charge of) at 7pm. I get home around 9. Bed.
Thursday: Repeat Wednesday minus the Mutual. Instead, after work it is more of the couch-sitting, and the dinner-eating, and the book-reading, and the movie-watching.
Friday: Scott and I both work 12 hour shifts! It is a long day.
Saturday: Scott works another 12 hour shift! I stay home, do housework, or go up to Vancouver! It is fun living so close. I find an excuse to visit up there almost every week.
Sunday: We have Ward Choir at 9am, but church isn't 'til 1pm. So we get to sleep in and eat breakfast together. It is one of the best days of the week, because every other day, our schedules are so mismatched, it almost doesn't feel like we spend any time together. Sunday, we are both doing the same things at the same time. It is great! Plus, I love going to church, learning and feeling the Spirit. I teach the 14 year old girls now, which is a blast! They are fantastic girls, and I feel like I am making friends in this town full of strangers!
And that is our week! I have been working 12-14 hour days three times a week. It has really made me budget my time between studying, internship-work, actual-work, housework, etc. Like they say, the busiest people get the most done because they are forced to be time-managers instead of time-wasters. I am working on not being a time-waster.
Now for just a bit of introspection.
This big move has really made me realize how much I have changed over the past few years. When I experience trials and obstacles in my life, I suddenly feel like I am sitting in front of a 20x magnifying mirror. My mother has one. It is terrible! When you look into this mirror, you see yourself in a totally different way--too close for comfort! All the flaws and details of your face are right in front of you, larger than life! It is fascinatingly horrifying. Like a train wreck. You just can't stop looking. It is simultaneously wonderful and terrible seeing yourself this closely. And when I look in this mirror, I compulsively reach for the tweezers and begin plucking and picking away the stray eyebrows and things I can fix until I am satisfied that there is no more I can do for the time being. This is how I have been feeling recently since coming down off the stress/anxiety of our move and everything that came with those few months. I am looking in this 20x mirror for my insides and realizing that I am not the person I thought I was. I am new.
I have always been a Wanderer. I love songs about leaving, travel, gypsy hearts, and jet planes. I have always charged into every new adventure without a glance over my shoulder. It hurts to be stationary. I am always looking for the next thing, and craving a change--even if it is as small as a new color on my toes or rearranged pictures on my wall. And as much as I am still a Wanderer, this new adventure was surprisingly painful. And I didn't even know it until now. I became attached to my life and memories in Utah to a greater extent than even I knew until almost this very moment. I have been keeping in contact with my people back there, and hearing about their wonderful lives makes me hurt because I miss my little surrogate family. I never got to come home for very long during my college years, and so I really relied on my new friends and a few family members to support me. I don't think they even knew how much I needed them. I certainly didn't until they were 900 miles away, and my life was new.
Now, just so we are clear, I LOVE my life in Salem. I really, truly do! I have longed for years to be back in the Northwest; close to my childhood home, friends, and family. There is just something about the "people who knew you when." And I am so lucky to be here. This is a place where I can picture settling down, buying a home, raising a family--things I sometimes have a tough time wrapping my head around! And yet, no change (no matter how wonderful and long-awaited) comes without sacrifice. It seems silly when I say it (or type it) out loud, but things have to be different in order for there to be change. Redundant, but somehow profound to me in my silly brain. Things are different. And for once in my life, I am glancing back over my shoulder a little bit. Maybe it is because I am older, and maybe it is because of the people I grew to love. I honestly don't know yet. For the first time, change is coming a little too soon for me. People are scattering, growing up, making life-changing decisions, and it is just hitting home that things will never be the same again two days in a row. And for the first time, I feel a tingle of fear and sadness along with my excitement. I am new.
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