In Which: I decide to run

Let's just agree to be frank. I have gained about 40 pounds of unwelcome "newlywed" weight. More accurately, this probably started with the stress of being engaged and getting married during the semester, and my workout habits went out the window--not that they were that great in the first place. College has not been my figure's best friend. I eat too much junk because it is quick and convenient and I tell myself I have too much studying to do to allow time for the gym. I am putting my foot down. I can't stand the bins of clothes that are just too small, but I can't throw away because I desperately want to believe I will fit in them again. I can't stand looking in the mirror and seeing a face and body I don't recognize and don't want to claim as my own.

So you don't worry that I am totally bonkers and shallow, this is definitely about more than looks or a number on a scale or clothing tag. I want to feel healthy, strong and confident. If I was this size and fit, I would not be complaining.  But I know my body, and I know that this is not a healthy and responsible way for me to live.


So. One of my recent adventures is running. I haven't really gone running since my sophomore year. Right before the summer I got engaged (surprise, surprise). Although I have been complaining and feeling bad about my weight gain for almost two years, I have been willing to try everything except running to lose weight. I was just too scared. I was scared it would be hard, embarrassing, and painful. So far, it has been exactly all of those things. I ran consistently for two weeks and then had to stop after I pulled a fibular muscle in both calves. Apparently the shoes I've had since high school aren't doing the trick--embarrassing and painful. The upside to this is Scott's promise of a shoe shopping trip this weekend! Until then, I am elliptical-bound.

Yeah, these trusty shoes have earned retirement.

(Stephanie just walked in and caught me arranging these dirty old sneakers for a photo-shoot. Just one more reason for her to think her older sister has finally lost it.)